Are Ponytails on a Woman the Equivalent of Dockers on a Man?
Monday August 4, 2008
My life changed for the better the evening my friend Stephen told me ponytails on a woman were the equivalent of khakis on a man. Hanging out with Stephen and our mutual friend Jim is like being on an unending loop of "What Not to Wear." You always get the up, down and side-to-side. Sometimes I pass their test, many times I don't. On this evening, I was wearing a fierce dress, killer heels, perfectly applied makeup and ... a ponytail. I was dressed to impress Stephen and Jim and they liked everything but the ponytail. We got into a huge debate over the impression a ponytail leaves:
- People who know I'm a beauty editor
- People who find out I'm a beauty editor while I'm sporting a ponytail
- Men
Find out what happened next in the full version of the story, "Are Ponytails a No-No"?
Check out Stephen's version of the story on my stylist Antonio's blog (for the record, I did not have "well-exhibited cleavage" that evening, I would prefer, "tastefully exhibited." What is it with men and breasts?).
Also, don't miss: 10 ways to wear a ponytail.
Photo of Claudia Schiffer: Andreas Rentz/Getty Images
Comments
I think the answer lies in exactly who we are dressing for – ourselves or “them”? The Hollywood fantasy is long, flowing hair as the standard of beauty and “dressing up”. The ponytail was all of the rage back in the 50’s – Personally, I feel it is about the angle of the ponytail – if it is at the nape of the neck, it is meant to be a hairstyle. If it is pulled to the back of the head, then it is a convenience. Either way, I would wear what is comfortable to me, rather than what a date would dictate. It’s the attitude in which it is worn!
Oh My! Do women still dress for MEN? I am with the guys on this, so far as how ponytails look. My mother used to say that there are only two ways your hair can be “up” – like a washer woman or like a princess. Claudia looks like a washer woman. See my post on Stephen’s take on the matter.
Ponytails are out? Not so. What a silly notion. Ponytails on top of your head with ratted bangs or say two ponytails perched on the side of your head… there is an arguement for no ponies there. But a neatly pulled back, lower ponytail looks lovely even dressed up and you always look put together and neat.
Now that said. I wore a long tonytail for much of my younger life (it was hot OK!!) and now I have thinner hair in the front from something called traction alopecia. It is not coming back. It happens when people with lots of heavy hair constantly pull on one area (like the front) of their scalp and the hairs get pulled out so often that they don’t grow back. I wish someone had told me long ago that this could happen. I wear my hair shorter now and with bangs so if I decide to wear it back, I am not pulling so much on my “bald spot”! I also moved to a colder climate. What women do for their hair!!
I agree it depends how the ponytail is worn and a woman should dress for herself. I would rather see a pony tail than long hair that’s looks thin and stringy, dried out with split ends or drenched in mousse.
I live in ponytails. Being a mom and a teacher they are very convenient. I don’t use them when I get dressed up.
Please, though, NO SCRUNCHIES! Did everyone miss the Sex in the City episode about the scrunchies? I don’t like to stereotype the mid west, but she made reference to them when she saw a woman ahead of her with one on her head. I even opened up my mouth recently when I saw a woman with one, I told her that 1980 would like their look back. She wasn’t too thrilled with my comment, but please there are so many other options.
HELLO,
I wear my hair down most of the time. But when we get these hot summers I will wear it in a ponytail. they still make scrunchies. My daughter who is 24 & myself who is 51 wear them & we don’t look out dated at all. I also will put my hair, half up, half down. I also use other hair items besides a scrunchie.
I would not make a comment to a stranger or a friend unless they asked for my advise.or unless they had something wrong, such as food on their face etc. You are lucky that lady did not cuss you out or worse.
I live in Chicago & I see all kinds of different looks every day. It is best for women & men to do what is comfortable for them. Not what other people want them to do.
I do like Salma’s & tyra’s hairstyles with the pontails the best. Judy K.
Oh, sorry. It’s not a personal thing. My DH teases me and says that when I blurt things out I’m showing my Tourettes. (sp) I just say, I’m from Jersey, we just can’t seem to keep our mouths shut. My mouth has gotten me into trouble most of my life, but I don’t ever hold back. My friends say that when they want an honest opinion they know where to go. It’s just me, either love me or not. I really don’t let anything bother me, I’ve been through too much to worry about what others think. But really, I didn’t mean to offend anyone here.
I HAVE to weigh in on this! I think the ponytail look is casual. Like for the beach or the gym. I am a merchandiser and I ALWAYS wear my hair in a ponytail because before the store opens, the AC is off…so it’s HOT. I also live in South Texas with very hot summers…I’ve learned to be creative about staying cool but looking good. Instead of a ponytail, I’ll pin it up in various ways.
But a low ponytail looks pretty, but still NOT for a night out look. EVER. ;o)
I am not understanding why ponytails are compared to men in khakis. why? whats wrong with khakis…….i love them on men…and i love pony tails…i wear them myself with a scruchie and i look fine….definitely not outdated …..these rules are so ridiculous
HI,
People should do what they want to & what is comfortable for them. I’m with you Rita, these rules are ridiculous.
Janice, you did not offend me personally. You mentioned that you never hold back. Well, there is a difference between being outspoken to friends & rude to a stranger in public. If my comments did not bother you, then why post about it? I really don’t want to argue with you. This should be a fun website for people to enjoy. I have also been through alot in my life. I think that almost everyone has gone through alot in their lives.
Again, people should do what they want. No one should put someone down because they do different things with their hair or anything else.
To me it is silly to have rigid rules when it comes to hair etc. What works for 1 person may not work for another. We all have our own opinions, that does not mean they are right all of the time.
Life would be very dull if we all had the same hairstles & wore the same things.
Judy K. Chicago.
Janice,
You have been thru too much to worry what others think, but how about how others feel? I will say it: What you said to that woman was wrong in every way. One day, hopefully, you will learn that, on most occasions, it is better to hold that “honest” tongue. Not only will others think more highly of you (I know, you don’t care – unfortunate) but YOU will think more highly of you. I hope, because you seem like a good gal, that you will retreat from the dark side! Kindness is a gift and a worthy virtue.
Here we go again. Who cares how someone chooses to wear their hair? You want to wear a ponytail? Go for it.
I would like to say that being a Sex and City fan, I saw that episode about scrunchies. To top it all, I also live in NYC. My husband asked what I thought about that line about not waring a scruchie and at first I had to think about it. I thought about it for all of 2 minutes! So silly……I still wear them esp. in hot weather and I have curly hair (like Carrie Bradshaw) lol Now whats the problem with khakis….my son wears them when he teaches and he looks great!
I get so tired of “trends.” Who has the time to try to keep up with what other people are doing with their clothing styles and hair. I especially don’t like having to dress for others, as long as it isn’t inappropriate, as in baring half of your body.
I have curly, and mostly unruly, hair and sometimes the only way I can go out in any capacity is with a low pony tail. My husband thinks I look the best with one. And I still like scruncies. Good God! There are so many more important things to worry about.
Ponytails are like men in khakis?
I really like men in khakis with ponytails!
*grin*
I both agree and disagree.
I agree with the fact that people should dress the way they are most comfortable, that sometimes this ‘trend’ thing becomes too much to be bothered with, that there are more important things to be doing, that there are all kinds of people who wear all kinds of looks and it’s about what suits you.
But I don’t agree with the feeling that this discussion needs to be seen as “frivolous” with such seriousness. Fashion is often a way of lightening up and it will do us well to not take things personally in this regard. I used to think that fashion “rules” are restricting, but in moderation, they can help us “play” around and have fun! So I think there is room for trends in that sense.
Oh and about ponytails: I agree with whoever said that thing about angles… I know I can look boring or exciting in a ponytail depending on how I wear it, and with what kind of outfit etc… Love men in them too…
and in Khaki…
Cheers!
I myself sport a tail at times rather than have the humidity have its way with my locks. Slicked back and parted at the middle with a trim blunt edge trailing behind is a great alternative to the product-laden fly-always that would surely mock me in the shop window reflection after a few well-deserved cosmos. Isn’t this all about having a look that leaves you feeling your best? Wanna go dance? I’m ready! What about a windy or rainy night? I dare you to find a woman entering an eatery from the rain who looks better! Change if you choose, but my ponytail stays! I haven’t yet had any trouble with men because of it.