I got a lot of flack from women responding to my beauty mistakes post last week. Most of the angry comments came from women with complicated hair who go out in public with a wet head, think it's perfectly acceptable and think I should just get over it (their words, not mine, OUCH!). Highlights include Mick, who has a 2-hour commute each way and lets her hair dry on the subway so she doesn't have to wake up a half-hour early to blowdry it. Mick's comments were seconded by Jenn who was offended by my "ewww" comment and doesn't want to use a blowdryer in hot weather. A in Oak Park has short hair that's hard to style, so she depends on airdrying. (By the way A in OP, short hair doesn't bug me. Long, curly wet hair does).
In order to justify my faux pas, I asked the most particular person I know what he thought about long, wet hair in public. Here's how the conversation went:
Me: So I have a beauty pet peeve. I don't like it when women with long, wet, curly hair ride the subway.
My Particular Friend: Ok.
Me: Particularly at rush hour. It grosses me out.
MPF: Ok.
Me: If the subway jolts, I can't help but imagine a bunch of wet hair slapping me across the face.
MPF: Ummm-hmmmm.
Me: DOESN'T IT TOTALLY GROSS YOU OUT???
MPF: No, not really. I just think to myself it must be really hard to blowdry curly hair and they need to save time by letting it dry on their commute.
Me: Oh what do you know, you won't even ride the subway.
Let the debates begin, readers! Weigh in with your comments below.
Photo: Stone // Getty Images
Comments
I think the “ew” factor depends on neatness. I don’t mind wet hair, even if it’s long and curly and dripping or whatever, if it looks combed and generally well-groomed. A drenched rat nest, that looks like it can flick you with who-knows-how-clean water any minute, IS gross. But I rarely see women out in public with messy wet hair. If it’s wet, it’s usually tidy.
And I confess…when I don’t have enough time to dry my hair, I just peek in the mirror to see if it looks all right and walk out. The climate here is arid enough to dry my hair, which is shoulder length, in about fifteen to twenty minutes.
Get over it. It’s not YOUR hair. It’s none of your business.
I’m a hairdresser with long hair and I let it air dry 99% of the time. (I know, hairdressers usually don’t air dry!) Now, granted, I don’t ride the subway (don’t even have them in my state) but seeing wet hair wouldn’t bother me.
For my own hair, it takes a good 20 minutes and it’s dry enough for public.
However, I was at a hotel with friends in the next room. When it was time to go out for the day, my friend said, “Your hair is wet.” (like I didn’t know that) and was seemingly surprised that I was going out with a wet head.
Plus, how many women do you see actually dripping? I say Damp? sure! Dripping? No way!
Well, I do agree with you. I do not think it looks good for any person, woman, man or child to be out and about with obviously wet hair. It looks like they rushed out the door and do not care about their appearance. Say someone dresses up, puts on their makeup, and then shows up at a prom, graduation, dinner, etc. with wet hair? In my opinion, the same applies to everyday.
I love going out in wet hair esp. on a summer day; so refreshing. Plus air-dry hair is so much more healthier. It is like eating organic, going green and then blow-drying your hair…so un-natural.
I can’t blow dry my hair because the climate here is humid and makes my hair look terrible.
I don’t mind wet hair in public. It doesn’t bother me at all, unless it’s so wet it’s DRIPPING, which I’ve seriously never seen before. I mean, people usually towel dry before heading out.
I agree with ropree. Going out with wet hair on a summer day keeps you so much cooler. Plus, having to use a hot blow dryer on a scorching summer day really, really sucks.
Wet hair in public doesn’t bother me, UNLESS it has any kind of leave-in hair conditioner. Because it usually has a really bad strong scent and it bothers me sooo much, really grosses me out.
But if it’s just water, it’s ok.
There are a lot more other things to be grossed out on the subway than damp/wet hair. Your hair is NOT curly, thus you shouldn’t complain. Again, how would you know. Air drying is healthier than blow drying. Your comments are appreciated, it’s your job. But again – there are lot, and I mean a lot more things to be grossed out on the subway than damp hair. ‘Sides, if you don’t like it move away……….
My hair isn’t curly, but it’s so thick that it takes at least half an hour to blow-dry and my arms can’t take it for that long. When my hair was down to my hips blow-drying was impossible, and it took five hours to air-dry. Now, just below shoulder length, it takes about three hours to air-dry. Fortunately, it only needs washing every 5 days or so.
I think this is, as you say, a pet peeve of yours and not something that can be said to be a good rule. There are too many situations where going out with wet hair is necessary.
I’d say this is definitely a personal pet-peeve of yours and not of the general population. When I see a person with damp hair out in public, I just think they don’t want to fry their hair with a blow-dryer.
Also, with curly hair, it’s hard enough to get it to do ANYTHING consistently even without blow-drying it every day and damaging the cuticle. Once you fry it though… well… it just looks gross wet or dry. I think it’s a bit unkind to demand that people damage their hair because you don’t like to see it damp. Instead, why not focus on the fact that they obviously care about keeping it clean?
I see your point, it’s OK that you don’t like wet curly hair, we all have things we don’t like. Personally I wouldn’t mind people with wet hair, unless, like said previously, it’s dripping.
I never leave the house unless my hair is dry, I blowdry it on a low heat and use a special heat activated protection styling cream so it doesn’t damage, and it always looks great and I will always feel great. My hair has a will of its own if I don’t dry it, it goes crazy with wild kinks. The only time I’ll leave the house with wet hair is on holiday, if I can step out of the house and onto the beach!
I personally see nothing wrong with it. My daughter and granddaughters do it and it looks great, especially my grnddaughters. They have very wavy hair. It looks cute on them (ages 6 & 2) and doesn’t damage their hair or heads.
the original mick here,
Can’t speak for anyone who does go out with dripping hair, and if anyone “flicked” me with it, I would say something–even if I was sitting there with wet hair too–because that has to do with consideration of others (general heading). I’ve been ROUTINELY flicked by young moppets’ DRY hair who were showing off or otherwise trying to impress someone (usually male) with their long locks. I’ve even grabbed a few horsetails in response–to make a point after multiple offenses. Dry hair, especially wild-n-curly, does a lot more flying around than wet.
DISCLAIMER: LONG, wavy hair, usually in a rooster-tail wet or dry. I dry my bangs before leaving the house. I dry my hair at night in the winter because I have a long wait outside for said train and its too cold (plus, the wet helps keep me cool and presentable UNTIL I get to work on the hot and steamy underground platforms during summer—a how-to post for another day).
Seems to me the eww-factor has to do with anticipation of said person’s behavior: someone who obviously doesn’t know enough not to go out with wet hair, would “obviously” not know enough to keep it to themselves. I don’t understand why women would apply mascara and eyeliner on a subway, or pull out a compact to check lipstick at a table, or stop outside windows to check out their reflection (yo–remember, you may not be able to see in, but people inside can see out) but hey…that’s them not me. I don’t like it; I don’t do it.
The point I think we are all trying to wrap our heads around is that…
Do what makes you comfortable, and what makes sense for your life requirements. Do not worry about whether your fellow human approves or not. If you have to spend time wondering at the base values of others based on external appearance…well you got more problems than you know and you have my sympathy. We are not to judge others lest we be judged ourselves. If I’ve got to be “judged,” I’d pay attention to something a little more serious than wet-vs-dry. (well, maybe not considering the length of this post.)
And those who think it implies respect for oneself etc etc etc…well, what happens when there is no make-up, no hair-dryer, no fancy clothes…do you still have self respect? I come from the deep south and know women who’s husbands of 20 years never saw them without make-up. Can you still hold your head up high when you exit your house? Can you still smile and treat others with respect? I can, no matter what I’m wearing or what I look like or what is going on around me.
If you are the same, then you are fine and don’t let anyone tell you differently based on some imagined or manufactured social taboo or moray.
I wear my long hair wet out in public on sundays especially. It doesn’t drip but reading this made me wonder, would it upset people? I don’t know.
Okay, the original Jenn here…
One other comment to add- I don’t ride the subway, I drive to work so there isn’t anyone else in my car with me to complain and yes, I DO towel dry so it is never dripping….and I would NEVER flip it into anyone else’s face even if I were riding the subway. (yes, I have also had young women flip their dry hair into my face when trying to gain attention…hair in the face is just rude, wet or dry!) I think I like Mick’s recently added comments about people who are spending time worrying about people’s possible actions and their appearance having “issues”. I thank God I don’t have to ride the subway as the “ewww” factor for what else is in the subways far outrides the “wet hair” issue. And I did some research as well…no one I asked, male or female, young or old, has a problem with we having wet hair. The standard response? Hey if its wet it must be clean! LOL All respondents said that they would rahter be around someone with wet clean hair then dirty dry hair.
Now in the winter I wash it at night and let it air dry the night before but in the summer? Anything that can be done to keep one cool in this economy when it costs so blasted much to put gas in the car that we can just forget about running an airconditioner is a good thing!
Ok, so it is obvious to me who has curly hair and who doesn’t, after reading the responses. I do have curly hair and cannot blow dry it in the summer, if I do it looks awful. However, I don’t like to go out in public with it just hanging, so what I do is put it in a ponytail or a butterfly clip while I am out. The only problem with that is I have to take it out before it dries, otherwise, big ewww!
LOL – I live in Alaska. Anyone trying to go outside with wet hair in the winter would quickly find that it will actually freeze and snap off! But, we have such busy lives anymore that I don’t begrudge anyone trying to save time, or make a schedule with a few shortcuts. I’d probaby invite her to sit down and take a breather for herself!
I agree with Carolyn. Get over it. There are myriad reasons why someone might go out of the house with wet hair. There are much bigger things that promote the “ew” factor than wet hair – my MY opinion.
Wowwwwwww this is quite BIZARRE situation, where have I been all these years? I’m not gonna ramble on/on the plus’s of air dryin yer hair. I have been on every hair length realm there is, past my knees to my shoulders and in between till I got it right. I always go out in the dead of winter and still get the same results. Anyways wet hair {not soakin wet} is and always been acceptable 2 me for 2 reasons 1. air dryin=full fluffy hair 2. I’m not really into hair dryers.
I am a person who covers my hair with a scarf and I can’t cover my hair if it is wet. So what I do is wash my body in the morning when I go out for work and when I am back I wash my hair. Wet hair doesn’t mean that it is tidy and I am sure you wouldn’t want water to drip on you from someone else’s no matter how tidy it is…
I wear a wet head out without the slightest care if someone is offended by it. I am offended by leggings, but do I refuse to walk near someone who is wearing them? Nope. People ask my how I keep my hair so shiny and without split ends. I tell them that I never blow dry from dripping wet, but mostly do not dry anything but my bangs. That I comb from the bottom and I change out shampoos regularly. I think I look funny with the bangs dry and the rest wet, but by the time I get anywhere where I care, my hair is dry. That said… I am not sure my air dry method would work is say… Texas. The women there may very well drum me off the streets for bad grooming etiquette. I also do not wear lots of makeup or jewelry. Three strikes! Who knows where that’d land me!
I thought of a couple more things I wanted to get off my chest. As for hair “ews” styling gel on permed hair for an all day wet look – EW. Ditto that but dry out the bangs straight – Double EW.
My mom is one of those women who does not leave the house much less let her husband see her “undone”. She actually sighs with sadness when she sees me leave the house without lipstick (”have you no shame”) and when I leave with a wet head she nearly faints and in complete seriousness wonders aloud what has become of me and where she went wrong. Apparently all of my self worth must be bound ever so tightly in my looks for what else on EARTH could it possibly be?
OK rant over! That said I LOVE Julyne’s column and read it faithfully. Lots of good tips and tricks. We should do beautiful things to and for ourselves for US!
Julyne – could you please do a column on painting hair with highlights and how to touch them up once they are there. Thanks!
Myself I have shoulder length hair that is very highlighted.I many days I blow dry straighten and curl my hair which really gives it a beating! Sometimes to give it a break from styling damage (which includes blow dryer)I do leave the house with my hair wet. I feel fortunate that I have nice curls that form instead of stringy locks. I think instead of getting grossed out by Wet freshly washed hair, you should be more worried about some people that have a rats nest for a hairdo. Who knows what (think lice) might linger? BTW, I have a georgous boyfriend with long locks that most women envy and he NEVER blowdrys.
HI,
I only dry my hair when the temps are very cold. Otherwise I always air dry it. I have curly. layered hair. My hair looks better air dried. When I dry it, that’s ok too. But it can make my hair look too dry. When I do dry it I will only do that for 10 min.
I do not go out with soaking wet hair. I let it air dry while I get dressed & put on makeup. Most hair does need a break from chemicals & drying. Judy K. Chicago.
I have a personal problem with wet locks swinging through the air too. I am guilty of having my hair wet and putting it up in a neat bun before I leave the house, but never with it down.
I think wet hair in public is wrong. I understand the need to cut time in a hectic world, but when I see a woman with long, wet hair I think she left the house not finished with her grooming. I know it’s clean hair, but it’s still not finished! It’s just how I feel. Now if you’re at the beach, then that’s another story…
I think Y’all just need to live and let live. My goodness who cares if someone desides to air dry their hair or not. Thats their buiness! Hair driers are very damaging to hair. Why on earth would you try to emplemant a rule saying that you must dry your hair before leaving the house? Get over it!
This wet head post has brought on quite a debate.
I think that there is a big difference between damp, styled hair and dripping wet hair. I also think that “first out the door morning hair” and “going out for the evening hair” are in two separate categories altogether.
Certain hair types benefit and look better drying naturally. I use a microfiber towel to gently scrunch my hair to speed up the drying time, or a diffuser.
Oh! Please……who cares if someones hair is wet – at least you know it’s clean. I say we should all wear our hair naturally vs the prim (curled, blowdried, crimped, straightened etc) look. Get a good cut and go with what you have.
Get a life, for Gawd’s sake!
I totally agree with u
I swim on my lunch hour so have to come back to work with wet hair – which I put in a pony tail – so obviously now I am doing 2 things wrong!
It does feel refreshing to leave with damp hair on a warm morning. My hair dries in about 20 minutes and isn’t burned to death by blowdryers. I would much rather see wet hair in public than dirty hair!
I diliberately got a perm last week so I could go out with wet hair. I’m up at 5:30 every morning and out the door by 7:00. I don’t enjoy sitting in front of a mirror with a straightener every morning and really can use the time doing something else, like having a breakfast for a change. My hair took too much time to style. Now all I have to do is wash, mousse, pick it out and spray. Wonderful! Incidently, I live in the country and drive to work, no subways here.
I do this eveyday in the summer and i dont care if anyone else likes it or not.Its my hair!!!!!
I agree with Carolyn–yes, get over it. As many people with curly hair (and some with wavy) realize, we cannot blowdry it or dry it just any way we would like. I hate having my hair dripping–but I can’t dry it to please you. Curly hair is fragile and needs to air dry, and it’s not like we’re going outside literally half-dressed.
Besides, your saying that wet hair is a beauty failure is similar to saying a person should never go on the subway without having the proper makeup nicely applied.
…just saying…